By Gary Evans
Is it possible to stay happy when it all kicks off?
Can you remain positive and think happy things immediately after an argument?
How can you stay happy when bad stuff happens?
Trying to stay positive even when not so good stuff is happening, appears like a massive challenge. It's actually easier than you think, but its likely that you've just never practiced it before and therefore it will be new to you to begin with.
First of all, after you've had an argument with someone you've allowed your vibration (mood) to significantly drop then you will no longer have access to happy, bright and loving emotions and feelings. Pretending that all is well and that nothing happened isn't going to do you any favors.
When you feel bad, you can't hide it from the universe which listens to your vibration and not your words or thoughts. Trying to do so is futile. Instead, the way to stay happy even when something bad has happened is to work your way up your emotional scale gradually.
Let's say you've just had an argument with your mother. You feel miserable because she isn't listening to you and she wants you to do something that you have no interest in doing what-so-ever. Instead of going off in a huff and thinking about it continuously for the next couple of days, take a moment to stop in the moment and take a few deep breaths. After stopping for a moment you can now begin to work your way up your emotional ladder.
The idea is that you want to poke around in your mind and find a thought that feels better than what you were just thinking. That does not mean you are looking for "I'm so happy and I love everything" type of thoughts. You just won't have access to them, so don't even try and fake it.
Here's an example.
"I feel miserable because my mother wants me to do something I don't want to do"
Poke around and find a better thought... Here's what you might come up with next:
"I don't have to do it if I don't want to"
Now, does this thought feel better than the original one? If it does, then you've just made massive headway already. Although its only a subtle difference, you're actually feeling a little bit better than you were doing a few moments before playing this game.
The idea is to continue on with this game until you're in a happy place. Regardless of how long you think this game will take to get you into a happier place, I can assure you that with just a little bit of effort, you'll be feeling TONS better than you did if you weren't to play the game.
Let's continue with our example...
"I'm glad I can make my own decisions and have the freedom to do so"
"Although I don't agree with what she wants me to do, she was doing it for my benefit"
"Thank God I don't live with her anymore!"
Can you see how we're gradually working our way out of where we were before and stepping into a much better place. What you'll find is that as you move up your emotional ladder you will no longer have access to those miserable thoughts that you had when you started, instead you will have access to the thoughts that you've immediately been thinking.
Whilst playing this game you may also notice that you'll get thoughts that try to bring you down your emotional ladder. Instead of giving them your attention, continue to poke around in your mind to find thoughts that feel better. Take your attention away from those thoughts that don't serve you and put your attention on ones that do. [http://www.manifestmiracle.com/free]Manifesting Reality Isn't Hard Work After All
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Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Gary_Evans
Friday, 7 March 2008
Find Happiness By Looking Inside
By Miami Phillips
"If I could only figure this out, I think I could find
happiness." That was the comment a close friend made during
a recent conversation. This is not the first time, nor will
it be the last that I hear this statement.
Many people believe that finding happiness is based on
finding something else they want. In my experience as a
personal coach, no one has ever found long term happiness
by achieving another goal. Ultimately, to find happiness is
to look within.
In other words, happiness is an inside job. The key to
finding happiness is to understand that happiness is a
choice and not the result. If happiness can be found as the
result of an acquisition, meeting a goal, or having
anything, then a person's happiness will always be subject
to something else.
An important and fundamental truth to remember is that one
definition of happiness is simply the absence of an
opposite emotion whether it is pain, sadness or something
else. If the opposite emotions are never experienced then
happiness can never be experienced either. Just as bad
times allow you to appreciate good times, and hunger allows
you to appreciate food, sadness allows you to appreciate
and experience happiness.
We can also define happiness as enjoying, showing, or
marked by pleasure, satisfaction or joy.
If you ask most people what happiness means you will
probably hear "I'll be happy when ". When I get that
promotion, I'll be happy. I'll be happy when I meet the
person of my dreams. If I had one million dollars, I'd be
happy.
These, and all the other "if I had" scenarios are
following the same reasoning; that happiness is based on
external circumstances.
If you base your happiness on external circumstances, you
will continuously fail to find happiness. There will
always, always be another external circumstance. There will
always be another dollar, another job, another house, or
another partner. Better, more, else.
To break this vicious cycle, we must find our happiness
somewhere else. That somewhere else is within. We have been
given everything we need to be happy.
One of the ways to allow yourself to choose happiness is to
understand life is perfect. Although this subject is worthy
of it's own article, life is perfect because we create it
with our choices. Since we can create life, how much better
can it get?
When we can accept that life is perfect as it is and that
our lives are the sum total of everything that has happened
to this instant, only then can we accept the joy and
happiness we deserve.
I realize that this concept is very difficult for some to
accept. However, the alternative to being happy now is to
spend the rest of our lives seeking happiness as if
happiness was an item to be bought or found.
It's not. Just remember the saying - Don't worry - be
happy!
Happiness is elusive but can be found. Start with the free tools available at the blog: http://www.miamiphillips.com/
"If I could only figure this out, I think I could find
happiness." That was the comment a close friend made during
a recent conversation. This is not the first time, nor will
it be the last that I hear this statement.
Many people believe that finding happiness is based on
finding something else they want. In my experience as a
personal coach, no one has ever found long term happiness
by achieving another goal. Ultimately, to find happiness is
to look within.
In other words, happiness is an inside job. The key to
finding happiness is to understand that happiness is a
choice and not the result. If happiness can be found as the
result of an acquisition, meeting a goal, or having
anything, then a person's happiness will always be subject
to something else.
An important and fundamental truth to remember is that one
definition of happiness is simply the absence of an
opposite emotion whether it is pain, sadness or something
else. If the opposite emotions are never experienced then
happiness can never be experienced either. Just as bad
times allow you to appreciate good times, and hunger allows
you to appreciate food, sadness allows you to appreciate
and experience happiness.
We can also define happiness as enjoying, showing, or
marked by pleasure, satisfaction or joy.
If you ask most people what happiness means you will
probably hear "I'll be happy when ". When I get that
promotion, I'll be happy. I'll be happy when I meet the
person of my dreams. If I had one million dollars, I'd be
happy.
These, and all the other "if I had" scenarios are
following the same reasoning; that happiness is based on
external circumstances.
If you base your happiness on external circumstances, you
will continuously fail to find happiness. There will
always, always be another external circumstance. There will
always be another dollar, another job, another house, or
another partner. Better, more, else.
To break this vicious cycle, we must find our happiness
somewhere else. That somewhere else is within. We have been
given everything we need to be happy.
One of the ways to allow yourself to choose happiness is to
understand life is perfect. Although this subject is worthy
of it's own article, life is perfect because we create it
with our choices. Since we can create life, how much better
can it get?
When we can accept that life is perfect as it is and that
our lives are the sum total of everything that has happened
to this instant, only then can we accept the joy and
happiness we deserve.
I realize that this concept is very difficult for some to
accept. However, the alternative to being happy now is to
spend the rest of our lives seeking happiness as if
happiness was an item to be bought or found.
It's not. Just remember the saying - Don't worry - be
happy!
Happiness is elusive but can be found. Start with the free tools available at the blog: http://www.miamiphillips.com/
Thursday, 6 March 2008
Happiness - Choose your emotion
Cheer up! Pull yourself together! it may never happen!
There are many platitudes thrown around designed to immediately drag a person from a state of despair. But happiness is not that easy. People are not born happy, a cheery disposition does not come automatically. It is not a gift from God. You have to work at happiness, you have to be taught how to be happy.
The good news is that there are certain techniques you can use to trick the mind into thinking it is happy and I know them and they are not that difficult to learn. So Cheer up! You have already started to re-program your mind.
Choose your emotion
How are you feeling right now? Happy, sad, indifferent? You are feeling exactly what you have chosen to feel. I have a five year old son. He accidentally broke a cheap vase. There was just him and me in the room and before he showed any emotion he looked at me. He looked at me to tell him what to feel because he is only five and has not yet got a handle on his emotions. If I would have showed my angry face then the emotion he would have chosen would have been different than if I had started laughing. I chose his emotion for that event. Just as I chose his emotion for his first day at school. Just as I choose my emotion every day. So give it a go. Start small. Next time you are running late and stuck in traffic try not to feel what you usually feel. Choose to fell relaxed, happy, giddy. They are your emotions so you can choose which ones to use.
Just imagine
Imagine that you wake up to find your son’s bike stolen from your shed. How would you feel? Angry..of course. Some drugged up teenager must have broken into the shed looking for goods to sell for his next hit. The police will never find him, they won’t even bother looking. It is just so unfair. But what if the thief wasn’t a drugged up teenager. What if the thief were a middle aged single mother. Her home has been repossessed and she is living in a squat with her two children. She can not afford Christmas presents so she was forced into doing something which she will always be ashamed of. Or maybe a neighbour came home from work to find a note from his wife. She has gone into labour and has been taken to the maternity ward. The neighbour’s can not get his car started so he is forced to steel a bike to get to the hospital to witness the birth of his first child.
Before you next react to a situation give your imagination a test drive to see if you can’t change the way you feel. Remember, you may have no control over certain events, but you have full control on how you interpret those events.
http://www.lemonshell.com/happiness/happinesschoose.aspx
There are many platitudes thrown around designed to immediately drag a person from a state of despair. But happiness is not that easy. People are not born happy, a cheery disposition does not come automatically. It is not a gift from God. You have to work at happiness, you have to be taught how to be happy.
The good news is that there are certain techniques you can use to trick the mind into thinking it is happy and I know them and they are not that difficult to learn. So Cheer up! You have already started to re-program your mind.
Choose your emotion
How are you feeling right now? Happy, sad, indifferent? You are feeling exactly what you have chosen to feel. I have a five year old son. He accidentally broke a cheap vase. There was just him and me in the room and before he showed any emotion he looked at me. He looked at me to tell him what to feel because he is only five and has not yet got a handle on his emotions. If I would have showed my angry face then the emotion he would have chosen would have been different than if I had started laughing. I chose his emotion for that event. Just as I chose his emotion for his first day at school. Just as I choose my emotion every day. So give it a go. Start small. Next time you are running late and stuck in traffic try not to feel what you usually feel. Choose to fell relaxed, happy, giddy. They are your emotions so you can choose which ones to use.
Just imagine
Imagine that you wake up to find your son’s bike stolen from your shed. How would you feel? Angry..of course. Some drugged up teenager must have broken into the shed looking for goods to sell for his next hit. The police will never find him, they won’t even bother looking. It is just so unfair. But what if the thief wasn’t a drugged up teenager. What if the thief were a middle aged single mother. Her home has been repossessed and she is living in a squat with her two children. She can not afford Christmas presents so she was forced into doing something which she will always be ashamed of. Or maybe a neighbour came home from work to find a note from his wife. She has gone into labour and has been taken to the maternity ward. The neighbour’s can not get his car started so he is forced to steel a bike to get to the hospital to witness the birth of his first child.
Before you next react to a situation give your imagination a test drive to see if you can’t change the way you feel. Remember, you may have no control over certain events, but you have full control on how you interpret those events.
http://www.lemonshell.com/happiness/happinesschoose.aspx
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